Funny dating newspaper ads

16-Nov-2017 21:43

True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. Q: What do you get when you put 20 blonde's ear to ear? In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.

At the seance, she called out, "John, John, this is Martha. " A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.

I can hear you." Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are? There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time." "What do you do all day? "Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there's nothing but making love until noon. Q: There are three third grade girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. I'm not in heaven, Martha." "Well, then, where are you? "Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same." "But you did not stop" replied the officer, "and the sign says STOP." "But the way was clear and it was safe" replied the motorist. "Do you want me to slow down or stop" says the officer. If you are traveling with two or more small children, decide now which one you love more.

Golden Saloon A guy comes home completely drunk one night. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! " He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. Finally evryone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. " After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt.

You'll notice that there are no graphics on this site. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it.

Just hundreds of funny jokes arranged in no particular order. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! They don't understand how to get the 2 quarts of water into the little package. What did the blonde say to her boyfriend after he blew in her ear? The brunette pointed and said look a dead bird the blonde looked up and asked, "where?? Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: It was a bill for 0 for a consultation!

You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license! Heaven can wait A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: “ God, how long is a million years to you? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.

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